Every week, the most enlightened being in my everyday life teaches me something new about the experience of being human. This week the lesson was around asking “why” and learning how to ask the question without having some pre-determined judgement about the thing I’m asking “why” about.
My little friend has reached that point of asking “why” about everything; and whenever you answer the question, the next “why” question is about the answer. It’s a delightful game, and brings not only the questioner to new insights, but the person answering the question into clarity about why things are the way they are.
What I noticed was the complete openness and curiosity with which the question is asked, and the same about the answer provided. There’s a pondering; a considering; a trying to make sense and categorize that new information. And there is a complete lack of opinion and total lack of judgment about the entire scenario. It’s all just information, coming and going.
So, after this interaction, I was at coffee with a friend, and the topic of crucifixion arose, given it was Good Friday. In particular, the story I had heard about devout Roman Catholics in the Phillipines who recreate the crucifixion in it’s entirety, including being nailed to a cross. I listened to myself say, “Why? Why on earth would anybody do that?” And what I heard was the subtext of my question: “Those people are nuts!” I wasn’t really asking “Why”, in the way my little friend so open-heartedly wants to know. I was actually making a highly judgmental statement about a ritual, a religion, and a faith that I know absolutely nothing about.
As I pondered this the next couple of days, I began to see how often I do that. Instead of just really resting in that curious place … (I mean, truly … wouldn’t it be interesting and enlightening to hear one of those individuals answer that question? “Why do you put your mind, body, heart and soul through such torture?” As I ask it in that openness even now as I write, I can hear an answer that makes complete sense! Granted, I personally wouldn’t do that, but for some, it is a path towards oneness and the creating of compassion within one’s heart) … I preload the question with a judgment.
So I am now practicing asking “why” with the same child-like open-heartedness that my little friend does. I’m curious to hear what new insights come as a result. Thank you, Connor!
Linda